Why is everything such a waiting game!

April 1st 2008: “it’s been almost a month since my experience w/the HSG test, and I am thinking now what.” Well days are passing weeks are just flying by and I feel like I am just waiting for something to happen or an answer for all the questions I have regarding finding out what’s going on w/me, Why can’t I get pregnant?” Everyday, I see strollers, babies, and think, why can’t I just have one.
You know, when we first started trying I was convinced that this is it, this is the month we will achieve this goal, it’s now two years later and I am still wondering gosh how naive was I to think that two years ago I could get pregnant that easily. In the beginning when I would hear about friends getting pregnant by “just looking at their husband,” I thought wow…I feel super sad. However, now when I think about it, I no longer feel sad or unhappy for my self, “how selfish of me to feel that way before.” It may not be my time to feel excited but it is their time. I accepted the fact that my time will come and I am actually thrilled and excited for everyone who becomes pregnant. This was a huge mental turning point for me, because today as I type away I have hope, that my destination will be a baby. I lost hope many months ago, which I will talk about in later blogs.
Back to my April 1 story: waiting in the lab room to take my day 27 shot for blood levels that my OB-GYN had asked me to do (BTW I was referred to an OB-GYM by my regular Physician). Anyway, back to my story, I called the nurse to find out what my day 3 blood results were, and my HSG results were. She stated, “That they look good and would like to refer me to an Endocrinologist,” I said okay. Why is she referring me to an Endocrinologist am I a lost case! The nurse sent over the referral via regular mail, there was a phone number on the referral sheet, and w/out any hesitation, I called to make an appointment. The woman at the specialist facility answered and asked me to come with my DH to a Fertility workshop that they hold every month. That does not sound too bad might as well find out more about this so called Endocrinologist. On April 9, we attended the Fertility workshop, where the two doctors of the facility talk about their facility and what makes them so different from everyone else. I got there with an open mind so did my DH, we had no idea what was going to happen and what they would be telling us. I made sure I picked up all the paperwork, financial paperwork and business cards. I like to collect stuff like that it helps keep me in the know……to be continued.